Living the Dream

I had a dream last night that Mark got a call to a church in Colorado and he told me that we were moving there...I looked at him, in my dream, and said "What about Mosaic? What about all the planning, work and connections that have been made?" He looked at me and said, "I'm bored. I need a new challenge. We've done it already." Its funny, because I woke up with this horrible feeling this morning and even though I know it was just a dream - I've been kind of melancholy this morning as I work in Mosaic...

For all my complaining about this place - and I do complain sometimes - I still love it...I love the families that come in - Karen and Scott were in this morning with their kids and their parents from Port Orchard...the parents from the Chinese school that meets upstairs on Saturdays...a couple chatting on the stage, maybe a new romance budding...I met Mike this morning who works for both Amazon and is also an usher at the 5th Avenue Theatre...Chris and Robert both came in for their "regulars" (20oz White Chocolate Mocha and 12oz Americano with room respectively)...Tammy and her "small mocha" that thankfully didn't taste like a dog's butthole to her today...a Demitasse room full of kids and their parents...and at 12:30 we have a flute recital...it really is an amazing thing to see and I know you probably get tired of hearing about it - but I'm so excited and happy to be here, on this corner of the world, a barista for the kingdom...so maybe when I was asleep, it was a nightmare an now I'm living the dream....

My Dad has caught the Christmas Fever

A friend showed us this website tonight and its really fun...I couldn't think of anyone better than my dad to make an elf...its hilarious! Enjoy..if you're interested in making your own family members into elves, its www.elfyourself.com

To see my dad as an elf, click the link below....
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9631095701

Thankfulness...

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, as I'm sure you know the pictures are of Will and Lora serving at our church's Thanksgiving lunch...I love Thanksgiving. I think I like it as much, if not more than Christmas. Christmas tends to stress me out more, the gift giving boggles my mind and always leaves me feeling like I picked all the wrong presents...Thanksgiving is all about good food, family, relaxing...the cooking can be stressful, but nothing else is.

This year, we are staying home. We typically have gone to the Oregon Coast with my in-laws but aren't this year. We're having Mark's parents and our friends Nooshin and Paya over for lunch. I'm really excited because my friend Nooshin is from Iran and I don't think she's ever experienced a traditional American Thanksgiving. My husband would love for us to deep fry the turkey but this year, I'm going to brine it over night and then use Emeril Legasse's recipe which includes basting ever 20 minutes or whatever...I'm breaking out on my own - and it may be a flop, but we'll see.

I'm thankful for so many things this year...my family which includes great parents who have loved and supported me always, a terrific brother, sister-in-law, three nephews and one niece - who we will be visiting at Christmas...wonderful parents in-law who don't fit any of the negative in-law stereotypes...an incredible husband who loves me just how I am...a son who is bright and funny and expresses his love freely...a daughter who amazes me every day as she reminds me that she is so much more than a diagnosis...Great friends who are like family...A fun and challenging place to minister...A perfect home, neighborhood and schools for my kids...and a God who loves me unconditionally and challenges me to love others the same way. Life is good and I am thankful....

Weekend Away

Mark and I had a weekend away this past weekend...it was our first time away alone since before Lora was born, so about 4 years. We went to Victoria and we had a really fun time. We stayed in a hotel, went to fun places to eat, walked around the whole city, drank coffee and looked at books in a bookstore and we went to a movie...all without the kids.

It was nice to step on the ferry at Port Angeles and realize that I didn't have to entertain or "watch" anyone...I could just sit there and look out the window or close my eyes and take a rest...it was really nice.

On the way over, Mark bought me a book at the Ferry gift shop. Its called "Eat, Pray, Love", and I'm really loving it...I will write more about it later.

But, on Friday night, we went to the movies. I read a review of a movie weeks ago called "Lars and the Real Girl"...I talked Mark into seeing it and it was so good. It was one of those quirky, funny, touching movies that I love so much. Its about a painfully shy guy who has trouble relating even to his own family..he has some tragic circumstances in his past that contribute to this. He can barely even talk to other people...Its very strange, but he ends up ordering a life-sized fake woman from the internet and he begins introducing her to everyone as his new girlfriend named Bianca. Now, I know what you're thinking, but this movie does not go to the 8th grade boy humor that might normally go along with a "blow-up" or fake woman in most movies.

It was just the sweetest story about how his family and the whole town begin accepting him and his delusion that his girlfriend is real. Part of it is helped along by a doctor in town who encourages people to go with him in order to help him...In fact, they go so far as to elect Bianca to the school board. With Bianca by his side, Lars is able to talk to other people and relate on a level he previously was unable to...and eventually he realizes that he doesn't need her and he's able to begin a relationship with a "real girl"...

I loved it, especially the way his family and town were portrayed, the love that they showed to Lars...I highly recommend this sweet story to anyone...yes, it was a little weird but so great.

All in all we had a really fun weekend away and I'm so grateful to the village who helped us with our children and our church who sent us and paid our way...thanks to all!

What was I thinking?

What is it about Co-op Preschool that sends me right back to Jr High? It seems like so often in my dealings with my fellow co-op parents I return to my former insecurities. A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege or should I say drudgery of attending our All School Board Meeting, this is where all three classes that meet at our site get together. I was chosen to be the secretary for this meeting, since I'm my classes secretary and each of us has to rotate in on an All School meeting...it was my turn.

I was already put off because the person in charge of this meeting sent us a 5 page agenda - well it seemed like 5 pages...it was very thorough, let's just put it that way. So, I was dreading the meeting and it lived up to all of my dread. It was long, seemingly very serious and extremely tedious. I don't enjoy taking notes for meetings such as this - these type of meetings and my personality do not mix. I like to crack jokes - which my own board has gotten used to, but this was a new group and I don't know that they apreciated my sense of humor - although the guy next to me did get my "Assistant to the Regional Treasurer" comment. Anyway, we did so much discussing that it was really difficult to know what was pertinent enough to make the minutes and what should be left out, etc. But I feel that I hit all the important points and only one actual motion was made during the whole meeting.

So, I sent out my minutes earlier this week and I got e-mail from the organizer of the meeting saying that she thinks she must not have gotten all of the pages as she only got approx. 1.5 pages, etc...I thought maybe the document didn't e-mail correctly, so I resent it to both her and myself and checked the document and all looked correct to me...so, I get ANOTHER e-mail (which was the 5th one in one day) asking me to print them out and give them to her because she "can't possibly be getting all my minutes". So, I automatically go to the insecure place of - what did I do wrong? Did I not take the minutes correctly? Instead of the healthier - What is her problem? What did she expect? Or the even healthier - Who cares? Its only Preschool? I stress about this all afternoon, wondering what I might have missed at the meeting, wasting precious energy that could have been used in more productive ways...

I swear I must ask myself multiple times a week.."What was I thinking?" and "Am I the only one who sends my kids to Co-op because its the only preschool we can afford?"

Fun Was Had By All - Happy Halloween

I love Halloween...I've always loved Halloween. I'm sure it has something to do with all the candy. I loved dressing up, getting my pumpkin shaped carrier and heading out for a night of Trick or Treating. I think its a great night and I don't really understand the problem that some people have with it. I think it becomes whatever you make it...I have a friend who moved from Kirkland over to the Eastern side of the mountains a few years ago and she was always a big Halloween celebrator. Even though her husband was on staff at a church and they always had the obligatory "Harvest Party", my friend would decorate her house - not really scary or anything - just the normal pumpkins, cobwebs, etc. She let her kids go Trick or Treating, just the normal stuff.

When she moved to a smaller town, Fall came and she started her normal decorating, etc. Her husband is now the pastor of a church...anyway, some of her friends came to her and said..."We don't really celebrate Halloween here, we turn our porch lights off and don't participate." I loved my friends response....she very kindly said, "I've always thought, what other night of the year are my neighbors knocking on my door? And if that's the case, why wouldn't I let them in?"

Of course I'm paraphrasing and retelling the story how I remember it, but I thought of that last night as we were out Trick or Treating...Will was really into it and we got pretty far into the neighborhood. But there were big groups of kids with parents all out walking around knocking on each other's doors. We knocked on a few doors, and were surprised by which neighbors live in which house...Will ran into friends from kindergarten and I was able to meet their parents or say Hi to those I already know. Some invited us to join them in their quest for candy. I loved it.

I especially loved Will's enthusiasm and how he would greet his friends and chat with them about how much candy he had collected. I loved how he would ask at houses if he could get an extra piece of candy for his sister who was in her stroller not feeling well, and he would actually give the extra to her. I loved how he wasn't scared of any of the skeletons or ghosts or homeowners who answered their door in masks - he knew it was all pretend...but, mostly, I loved the feeling of community - it was a beautiful night and fun was had by all....

Reflections on a Week (well 3 days) of Full Time Work...

I haven't worked full-time, outside of the home, for pay since before Will was born. Its funny because I really love being a stay at home mom, but sometimes feel like I need validation that I still can use my brain above a Kindergartener's level...

Well, this week, I have had my opportunity to work full time again, only not for pay. Due to vacations and sickness, I have been working at Mosaic three straight days from 8:00-5, 6 or 7. I'm exhausted and not any richer than I was last week, but its been fun too. I normally volunteer in the evenings so I've met a whole new crowd this week. Lots of moms with kids some of whom go to school with Will, college students, business people who have meetings here, Dick's employees...its really an eclectic crowd. Its fun to hear people tell other people, "This is our family's favorite new spot in the neighborhood"...Its been really busy today and I handled the morning and lunch rush all by myself without cowering in the corner in tears...or yelling at anyone.

I'm so proud of this place and so happy to be a part of it...But, after this week, I realize why I don't work full time. Its hard as a mom with two small children to work a full day, go home, make dinner, still do the laundry, try to clean your house, give baths, read stories, get kids into beds...Did I mention that Mark is the one who's been sick this week and he's done what he can...I went and got Will from school yesterday and dropped him off at home and Lora cried and didn't want me to leave. I shut the door and could still hear her crying as I walked back down the street to the coffeehouse...realizing with each step why I'm a stay at home mom...

So, I've had a fun three days...I'm exhausted, my house is a pig sty and I've probably gained 5 pounds from bagels and Pumpin Pie Chai Teas...but I was reminded that I can converse with adults, I really do like helping other people and I can make some beautiful foam....so its all good.

I Fired My Housecleaner...Boy am I Tired

Well, I didn't so much as fire her as I canceled her. Out of the kindness of her heart, my mom has paid for a housecleaner for me twice a month for the last three years...one of the benefits of having a blind daughter. But, after three years...and now that Will is in school I talked to my mom and told her that I thought I could handle the cleaning now. So, I said "Adios" to Alicia and took over my house.

So, I started this system called "Sidetracked Home Executive". Its this book my mom read back in the 70's and she sent it to me..you organize your whole house on 3X5 cards, splitting up each room and each task into Daily, Weekly, Monthly, etc tasks so that everything gets done..Then you decide which days you want to do things...like for me Sunday is Meal Planning/Grocery List day...Monday is Grocery Shopping...Tuesday Laundry...Wednesday I clean the Upstairs....Thursday is a day off...Friday I clean downstairs and Saturday I do laundry again. It sounds like a lot but with it all broken up, it makes it much easier.

To add to my stress, Lora is wearing panties...and peeing on the floor mostly. She did really well the first day, so I thought "This will be easy"....she tricked me and since then has not peed once on the potty. But, I'm not giving up...she must be trained. Even if it kills both of us....

Lora Drew a Face....

So, I cried in Co-op this morning...and not just because one of the little girls told me I was fat. About three times throughout the year, teacher Kris asks the kids to draw a self portrait. This morning was the first of those times. During our small group, we handed the kids paper and asked them to draw themselves. We asked questions like.."What shape is your head?" "What do you have on your face?", etc...

So, Lora proceeded to draw a perfect circle, the two circles for eyes, a smile and a nose. This picture is actually the second portrait she drew...I grabbed the other one before anything happened to it so she drew this one and added lots of curly hair and possibly a beard of some sort. She has a good imagination. I just looked at her go, concentrating and putting all the pieces in their perfect place..and I looked at the three boys at our table one scribbling and the other two barely able to make a circle. I realize she is a girl, she enjoys drawing, etc...but she's also supposedly blind. And all I could do is look with wonder and cry.

This may not look like much to anyone other than her mother or maybe her dad...but to this mother, it is a masterpiece and should be hung in a gallery somewhere with the title "Look What God Can Do...."

Made in China

So, my parents were here last week for a couple of days. It was fun to see them, have them see us and have them check out Mosaic which they hadn't seen completed yet. It was fun on Friday because Mosaic was really busy in the morning, packed with mom and their kids all playing in Demitasse and actually spilling out into the Den and the main room....my dad looked at me at one point and said, "The most amazing thing about this is that none of these people are directly connected to your church..." It was fun.



We went shopping on Thursday and we decided to stop by Old Navy. I was commenting to my mom, in Lora's presence, about the clothes I recently ordered for her on-line. I was amazed by how many different countries the clothes were made in. From Egypt to Taiwan to Indonesia...and I commented that the sweater Lora had on was made in China.



So, three days later....Heidi, Lora and I are sitting outside my in-laws house helping with a garage sale. Lora has on the same sweater and Heidi asks her if her mommy made her sweater, to which Lora responds, "No, China made it"



It amazes me how much she picks up and listens and overhears and remembers...she is so funny and smart. Tomorrow she starts pre-school...the first one that I will leave her at for at least 2 days a week. I'm excited for her and think that she will have a great time...I just hope the other "typical" kids can keep up with her!

Time and Perspective

Last week, we took Lora to her annual eye exam...which is always an ordeal. It usually lasts about 2 hours because by the time we get in the office, have her tested by the assistant, checked by the Doctor, eyes dialated, wait 20 minutes, and go back in...its been about two hours. Plus, getting a 3 1/2 year old to open her eyes volunterily and look in a bright light or keep them open long enough for the doctor to see the back of her eye is a huge thing. We bribed her first with chocolate, then with a treat in the caffeteria and finally with a trip to Toys-R-Us before we were done and by the end it was me holding her on my lap, Mark holding her legs down and the assistant holding her head while Dr. Grace physically pried her eyes open...(BYW, I really don't like our opthomologist's assistant...don't know why she just rubs me the wrong way and I almost asked her to stop talking this time, but I held it together.)

So, needless to say, I felt that Lora deserved a $10 Little People toy for her trauma. While we were there, Will went to Paya's house for a playdate and when we got home, this is the conversation I overheard from the TV room...

Will: Lora, when you went to the eye doctor did they give you medicine so you can see better now?
Lora: Nope, still can't see....
Will: Oh...

I have to admit, it cracked me up. Its funny how the things that would have sent me into a fit of crying a year ago make me laugh now...Its true how time and perspective help everything - and I'm sure God has something to do with it too...

One Day Down...10,000,000 to go...

So, Will made it through his first day at school. He did fine, there were no tears or grabbing to hold on...Will didn't cry either. When I went to pick him up, Miss Lucy said that he had some transition issues after the morning recess. He didn't want to go back to his Spanish class, he wanted to go to the English class. So, she very nicely just said if we could go over with him his schedule so he understood. I asked her if these type of "transition issues" are typical, and she said "they can be"...which I took to mean, not usually...so I stressed about it all the way home...

So, after talking with Will about his day, I got to the bottom of the "transition issues"...His good friend Paya is in the other class, they all play together at recess and so after recess, Will simply wanted to stay with Paya. It had nothing to do with not wanting to be in Spanish class, he just wanted to stay with his buddy, which I understand...he they proceeded to tell Mark and I, "When I talked to the principal, I told him I wanted to learn Japanese and he told me that I can come to his house and he'll teach me Japanese"...to which I screeched "You got sent to the principal's office!?!?" Come to find out they took a "field trip" to meet the principal, so I picked myself off the floor and realized that Miss Lucy would have told me if his "transition issues" had escalated to the point to merit a trip to the principal's office. So, thankfully, he hasn't been sent to the office YET.

Mark talked with him extensively tonight about how he and Paya can play together at recess and he can play with Paya after school, but he is in Spanish class and Paya is in Japanese so they can't be in class together and he needs to make things easier on his teachers and just go where they tell him...to which he answered, "I know dad..." Here's to an easier "transition" day tomorrow....

Kindergarten...

So, Will starts Kindergarten tomorrow morning. Its so weird, I really can't believe it. I've been really not nervous or weepy about it at all, which is also weird. Maybe because I don't feel like its really happening, the emotion hasn't hit me yet. I really felt like Will was doing great too. In fact, he's seemed almost oblivious to it all.

But, tonight he asked Mark if kids get scared at kindergarten, if their parents can stay with them...or if they get scared during the day, if the teacher will call their parents to come and get them. Then he asked Mark what he does if he falls and cuts his leg...does he go to the school nurse or just to his teacher. And he also told Mark that he wished he was taking Japanese so he could be with his friend Paya. So, it makes me think that he has been thinking about things more than he's let on.

I just keep telling myself that all the other kids there are new to school too and that his teachers have all been teaching for 15 years and they seemed really nice. One weird thing is that he starts with Spanish tomorrow morning and for the first half of his day, he hears no English from his teachers...so that could be interesting...I really feel like he'll be fine, its just a weird thing to drop him off at 9:10 and not pick him up until 3:20...he's going to have his first school lunch tomorrow, his first recess with "big" kids...he's such a great kid and I hope he has a great first day...I'm really hoping and praying that all goes well...I'll keep you posted!

Back to School...for the first time

I have a 5 year old today. Which is weird because he doesn't really seem any different today than he did yesterday, but today he is 5. Which seems old to me. And tonight, we are headed off to John Stanford Elementary for his first "Back to School" night. We will meet his first "real" teachers tonight...Miss Lucy and Miss Maria, he has both an English and a Spanish teacher as our neighborhood school does language emersion which I think is pretty cool.

He seems excited but I know he doesn't grasp the significance of this night and this next week...I think I grasp it as I get teary writing this. Starting next Wednesday, Mark and I will no longer be the only big influences in his life -yes I know we will still be the biggest influences, but from 9:10-3:00 Monday through Friday...he will belong to Miss Lucy and Miss Maria and will be influenced by them and all the other kids in his class and so indirectly by all of their parents also. It is weird to me - and for all of my "open minded" talk...he really has been pretty sheltered and now I feel like I'm sending him out into the world. I realize its only kindergarten, but there are other bigger kids there and it makes me want to protect his innocence even more.

I don't want him to have to learn that kids can be cruel sometimes...and that everyone won't want to be his friend...I'm not ready for team sports and comparisons about athletic abilities (because if genetics has anything to do with it, he's screwed)...I'm not ready for little girls to want to kiss him, or worse, not want to...I'm not ready for hurt feelings...

But on the other side - there are new languages to be learned...new concepts to grasp...reading to happen...a mind to be opened and new ideas to be explored...many friends to be made and a great adventure to be started...so, "Back to School" night, here we come - I hope John Stanford is ready for one great kid to enter its ranks...

Will's Backyard Party

Yes, I know, I'm a blogging loser. I'm sure the masses have stopped even checking my blog to see if I've added anything new....Hopefully I can gain my huge readership back....Life has been crazy recently. With Summer, kids, Mosaic, church, life...I have felt no energy for updating.

So, Will turns 5 this week! I can hardly believe it...in some ways I feel like he's still a 3 year old, but in other ways he seems so old to me. He starts Kindergarten next week, which is also so weird. Yes, I know, he's just turning 5 and we aren't holding him back a year, we're starting him in school this year. We may be stupid - so you don't have to tell us we are - I just can't imagine having him home another year...He didn't seem any less mature than any of the other kids at preschool and we think he's ready...you can tell us "I told you so" later when he's in "Super Kindergarten" next year...(that is a King of Queens reference, if you don't recognize it)

We had a Backyard party yesterday with Will and his friend Paya who turned 5 on the 20th. It was fun to plan and put the party together with my friend Nooshin. It was her first birthday party that she had even attended in America, so it was fun to explain all of the things that are expected...like goodie bags - which are kind of a weird concept. We had a great day in our yard with 13-15 kids and parents beside...I think everyone had fun and Will and Paya had a great time being the center of attention...It was great for me to see that a simple party with popcorn, chips, fruit, cupcakes and lemonade in our backyard can be just as fun to the kids as renting out some big space or taking them all to Chuckie Cheese...the kids don't care, they just want to be together playing and running around...it was great! Happy Birthday to Will! I love you!

A Visit from an Old Friend.....

I'm sitting here, waiting for a visit from an old friend. I haven't seen Christy in close to ten years, but we were best friends all through high school. Its funny how you can have someone who is so integral to your life for a good 8 years or so and then, not talk to them for literally 10. Maybe I'm unique in that defect...but I'm horrible about keeping in contact with friends who live far away. We were inseperable in high school, kept in contact through college (even though she went to SPU and I headed to NNU), I was a bridesmaid in her wedding....then there is a huge chasm. I think I visited her in her new apartment after she was married a couple of times and then nothing.

I actually started thinking about her a couple of years ago and "googled" her, I sort of kept track of her through mutual friends...I knew she and her husband had moved to Illinois...tried to find an e-mail address and then, out of the blue, got a Christmas card from her. She had heard that we were pastoring at SFC so she sent the card to the church. So, we e-mailed a couple of times but haven't talked or seen each other....I'm excited...

I wonder if we will still have any connection? Me with my peanut butter smudged shirt, not quite done hair, kids in tow....I'm hoping that we will pick up where we left off, like no time has passed...Who knows? But I'm really excited to see her!

The Innocence of Children...

On Sunday, Mark, the kids and I went out to lunch with some friends after church. I took Will to the bathroom towards the end of lunch and deleting out the "poop" talk, here is our conversation:

Will: Mommy, why do kids have to go to the bathroom with their parents?
Me: Well, its just not safe for kids to go to the bathroom by themselves.
Will: Why?
Me: Well, a stranger, who might not be nice could come in and hurt you....(I said unsure of how to word it so as not to scar him for life...)
Will: What would they do?
Me: Uh, well...
Will: Well, they could put my head in the toilet and then flush it...that would hurt.

Cracked me up...

Community

I just wanted to say that I love living in Wallingford and I love that Mosaic is a part of this community....this week, we were contacted by Will's "Buddy" from John Stanford Elementary (they pair up first grade families with each of the new Kindergarteners coming in) So, the mom contacted us via e-mail to set up a time to meet...Mark e-mailed her back and she said "Wait a minute...are you the Mark and Christa from Mosaic? We've played with your kids..." We set up a time to meet at the park and I recognized her right away. It was so nice to already feel connected.

We participated in the Wallingford kids parade today and walking back, we stopped and got cupcakes and I chatted with another mom at Wallingford center who is a "regular" at Mosaic. Then, as we were walking home, the Wallingford Boys and Girls Club was marching and they announcer said that they had just remodeled their space and I was reminded that they were the 10% charity for Mosaic a couple of months back...and I thought, "we were a part of that". We walked down 44th to come home and ran into Susan who chatted with us for a few minutes, another regular...it is so nice to feel connected and Mosaic is the reason for that connection with each of these people. It just feels so good to be a part of the community that I live in and I didn't feel that way before Mosaic...it makes me feel like we are accomplishing what we set out to do and I love it!

Live Earth

I've been watching the Live Earth concert this evening. I have to admit that I'm a star struck, music junkie and seeing all of these acts together excites me deeply. Mark thinks I'm a complete weirdo, but I got so excited to see Duran Duran, the Police, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and right now, Lenny Kraviz is rocking the house. Mark got slightly excited by Pink Floyd...its amazing to me. It so reminds me of Live Aid...yes, I am old.



I started to write this big paragraph about where is the church in this...like during Live Aid, I wondered the same thing. But that promotes such an "us and them" mentality...its incredible how little it takes to make a difference in our environment and we need to start doing something - especially those of us in the church who are very slow when it comes to the environment.



But, mostly, tonight, I'm amazed by how many freakin' great musicians there are in the world...I mean, someone like Ant from the Chili Peppers is this weird, freaky little guy who sometimes goes on stage naked, looking like an idiot...but he is really an incredible bass player....



Switch to energy efficent lightbulbs and unplug your phone chargers when you're not using them! That's not too hard.....

Hello Again....Hello

Yes, I know, I am a blogging loser. I don't know what has been wrong with me lately....I haven't felt like I've had anything to say for quite some time.

We just got back from a trip to see my parents in Oklahoma. We had a really great time....it rained quite a bit, which I was happy about because everything was still green and it wasn't quite as hot as we expected. We relaxed a lot, went out to eat, swam in a pool, and mom and I got beated to a pulp in "Hand and Foot" by Mark and my dad....all in all we had a really fun time. Thanks for having us Mom and Dad.

It was fun, one night we played with the kids from next door. They got out the T-Ball set and I felt like a complete loser parent because Will had never even hit a ball off a T. But, he actually hit really well, once we got him pointed in the right direction. Then Lora wanted to try. So I lined her up, stood behind her and helped her hit it a couple of times and then she turned to me and said, "I can do it myself!" So, I let her, and she did great! It was so fun to watch her figure it out and little miss independence did it.

Its funny, because one of her teachers has gotten her a little white cane, which she hates. But, when she uses it she is so much more confident. We took it with us and always asked her if she wanted to take it with her whenever we went anywhere. She always said "No". Until our last flight from Salt Lake to Seattle. For some reason she said "Yes" and wanted to use her cane to walk onto the plane.

She actually looks really cute walking with her little cane. But the reaction from other people was so shocking. We heard, "Oh, look at that" "That poor little girl" "Isn't that sad"....I almost had to laugh as I remembered a few nights earlier, her knocking the ball off the "T", saying "I can do it myself"....I wanted to assure all the people in the terminal that there was nothing "Sad" or "poor" about her....a lot to be grateful for!

New Friends

The kids and I made some new friends this week...two different play-dates with two different families...it was fun. Its fun to meet and get to know new people. I love people - their stories, their histories, the way we're the same, the way we're different. Its been fun this past year, since Will's been in pre-school to meet more people with kids. Before this year, we didn't do things like playdates very often...I didn't have that many friends with young children. I have to confess that my home-body self had a hard time at first - getting out there and making "dates" with people. I'm still not good at initiating them....its just too easy for me to have a day like today where we're all still in our jammies, watching Blue's Clues. But, I realize its good for the kids and great for me to make new friends...

So, thank you to Jen, Ruthie, Thomas, Meg, Eowyn and Coco for making our week more fun...and for being new friends!

Everyday with Harry...

I've never read the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" but Mark and I are living our own version currently with an elderly man from church, Harry. He's a single, never been married, gentleman who is in his 80's. He's retired from Boeing, has lived in the same basement apartment for years and has been a member at SFC since he moved to Seattle years ago. He's a very sweet little man...I say that because he is really little - about 5' 4" tall and weighs no more than 125 lbs dripping wet.

We've been worried about Harry recently because he's becoming more forgetful, getting to church and then not remembering whether he drove or rode the bus, losing his coat and keys, showing up for Tuesday morning bible study on Wednesday...things of that nature. He also seems to only eat when he's at church - our associate Tim and his wife had started taking their left overs from dinner each night, putting them in the church fridge with Harry's name on them. He's been complaining of his back aching so Mark took him to the doctor last week...they scheduled some follow-up appointments and Mark stopped by his apartment with Harry after the apointment....because of the appointments - wanting to make sure Harry gets to them - the condition of his apartment, and the fear we have about him being taken advantage of, Harry moved into our guestroom last night. There is a possibility of him moving in with his sister that we are working on, so it will probably only be short-term.

Having people live with us is something, over the years, that Mark and I have frequently done. Its funny, because, although it can be inconvenient...it happens to be something I enjoy. My mom loves to say to me, "Oh you can't do that to yourself" when I tell her of our latest houseguest....but I partially blame my parents for my being okay with others in our home. My mom and dad are two of the most hospitable people I know. They frequently opened our guestroom to people throughout my childhood...twice we had whole families living with us - people who had moved to Seattle and were looking for places to live and I remember at least two other friends of ours staying with us while looking for housing. Those are just the longer-term situations I remember that were friends of ours in transition.

I also remember the Native American single mother my mom somehow got in contact with whose newborn baby had been transferred to Children's Hospital. Her baby died very shortly after she arrived here and mom brought the mother home to stay with us for a few days until she could return home. This doesn't include all the one-night guests - missionaries, friends, relatives, etc. that made their way through our home. I love how my parents didn't have different standards for different people, all were treated like family and given the best of what we had....thanks for the lesson in hospitality mom and dad.

So, because of this, we have "Everyday with Harry"....and other stories to tell later in life from Mark and my home. I can see already how easily my kids adjust. This morning, at the breakfast table, Harry patiently listened as Will talked his leg off about Spiderman and other superheros. Any person who will listen for that long to my kid is welcome here....who knows if he could hear him! So for now, we're hanging out with Harry - maybe we'll get a book deal out of it! Just kidding...he's one of the "Least of these..." how can you say no to that?

Meeting McLaren

Mark and I have a fun evening tonight. We get to go to dinner with Brian McLaren! He is coming for a Missional Learning Day tomorrow that is being held at SFC. Karen Ward, the Abbess at Apostle's Church in Fremont came and asked Mark if they could use our facility for this learning day. The focus is on how older urban churches, like ours, remain missional in their neighborhoods. I'll be working in Mosaic tomorrow and sneaking upstairs to hear Brian, and hopefully to catch Mark as he is on a panel with Brian and a couple other people...I'm really excited for the whole weekend!

I read "New Kind of Christian" and "The Story We Find Ourselves In" a couple of years ago and along with Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" - found them life changing....Its funny, because I wasn't shocked by anything I read, like others seem to be...I credit my parents with raising both my brother and I to realize that its okay to have questions about God, they didn't come off like they had it all figured out, so it was okay for us to feel that way too and wonder about how it all works.

There is so much that I loved about these books, but one of my favorite scenes is the "conversion" scene in the coffeehouse. The simple explanation, the simple realization of the "convertee" that he does believe in God and Jesus. It wasn't necessary for him to be in church on Sunday - he didn't have to go down to an altar and say any "magic" words. It was simple, one friend talking to another - sharing each other's lives and experiences. I love that picture and I think this is how it happens more often than not.

I think all too often, we try to fit God into a tidy little box and say, "This is how it all works...this is how we approach God...This is what a relationship with God looks like." Even though I had found the opposite to be true in my life already - it was so nice to hear Christian authors saying it.

I'm really excited to meet Brian and just hope I don't gush too much, or make a fool of myself by crying or something....I'll let you all know how it goes!!!

Dennis

I made a new friend last night at Mosaic, his name is Dennis. I had seen him at the coffeehouse before but hadn't had the chance to talk with him. Dennis has long grey, crazy looking hair with matching mutton chops, he's missing the bottom half of his teeth - he's not someone I would normally find myself talking with.

He came in last night while Heidi and I were working - it had been a slow night up to that point - he had a couple newspapers (of the 5 that he reads daily, I later learned)...ordered a soy chai and started talking to me. I found out that along with reading the 5 newspapers, Dennis is a Seattle cabbie who once was on the news because he decorated his cab for Valentine's day called it the "love cab" and sang love songs to his passengers, he once got a $450 tip from a faire for singing "Winter Wonderland", he wakes up at 3am most mornings to start his day in order to make ends meet, he would love to be able to come to church sometime but he has to work 7 days a week just to make it. Oh, and the funniest thing - he went to King's Garden Christian School from K-12 - we graduated from the same high school...so we talked about our school - the fact that it used to be a TB santatorium...that the Chemistry classroom was the old morgue...about the underground tunnels that we all used to play in...

I liked Dennis...I was surprised by Dennis...I had things in common with Dennis...I might not have ever found that out were it not for a coffeehouse in the basement of a church...I am amazed by all that God is doing and feel blessed to even be a part.....

Knowledge is Power

Tonight, Mark and I attended a lecture at Mosaic that was put together by a friend from our preschool. It was by a woman named Amy Lang who has an organization called "Birds + Bees + Kids". First, let me say, I would highly recommend this lecture and speaker to anyone with children, especially kids under 5. Amy is a fun, hip speaker who talks in plain language about kids and how we begin to talk with them about sex.

The first thing that kind of "got" me was when she said that our kids should know the basics of how babies are made by age 5...that stunned me until she reminded us that by that age, they are entering school with older kids who are going to tell them all sorts of things about sex, right and wrong and she reminded us that at that age, its all about the science there is no emotion behind it for them yet...I was quickly reminded of the 7 or 8 year old boy from church that told me how babies were made when I was about 6, and boy was he wrong. I really want my kids to know the "real" scoop, from Mark and I, not some kid on the playground.

She also talked a lot about what is appropriate developmentally for kids to know/play at different ages. This helps to spot signs of sexual abuse that could be happening. I so appreciated this information.

I really loved her style and how she talked bluntly about the "mechanics" but also about values and seemed to respect all different values. Its staggering the statistics of teenage sex, and that scares me to death as my son enters the school system. I really want my kids to feel like they can talk to me about anything, that no subject is off limits, this is how I feel like I was raised - and I want to pass that on.

One of the quotes that stuck with me was that kids really need "200 one minute conversations about sex instead of one 200 minute conversation"...how at this age, they will actually listen to me, where they may not when they are 12 or 13. I so want to instill in my kids to respect themselves and other people so much and that the choices they make when they are young can impact their lives forever - its not just about waiting until marriage because that's what we want them to do, or that's what God would want them to do - but I want everything for them, love, trust, healthy relationships, great educations, wonderful careers, etc and getting someone pregnant, getting pregnant or dying from a disease could seriously affect that. I feel so proud to tell them that their dad is the only man I've ever had sex with, but I also want them to know that I love them no matter what mistakes they might make in their lives. And, that they are worth it, they are worth waiting for that person they will spend their life with, they are worth having healthy relationships, they are worth living a long, healthy life.

Anyway, I really appreciated the evening and again I would recommend this speaker to other parents. It is blunt, but we have to be honest with our kids...they are worth it.

Happy Easter!

I haven't posted for awhile...we've been busy with Mosaic opening and Holy Week. This week is Spring Break and I'm looking forward to a few days staying in PJ's until noon, watching Dora and Spongebob with the kids and then maybe heading off to the park to play...no schedule.

Today is Easter...I have a new friend that I've been spending quite a bit of time with and, on Friday, she asked me what Easter is anyway. It kind of took me back - even though she's from a different country, Iran, I thought everyone knew what Easter was. Its strange how I just assume things like that - how I think we all do. So, after trying to explain the basics without sounding like a complete lunatic - when you step back and listen to yourself explaining the story, it sounds a little crazy...and yet this crazy story and the life of the One the story is about changed history and changed millions of lives, including mine. And for that, I am forever grateful that the Father sent His Son to this world, not to condemn us...but to redeem us!

And, just because they are so cute...here's a picture of my kids on Easter...

To Sleep Over, or Not to Sleep Over.....That is the Question

Okay, so I have a delimma...one of Will's friends from school has asked him to sleep over, repeadedly. So far, I have held it off but his friend's mom is becoming more and more persistent. And neither Mark, nor I is ready for this venture yet.

We actually discussed this months ago, along with playdates and the like....we were both nervous about sending him off to other people's homes, especially school friends that we don't know that well yet. We are perfectly happy to have friends over here, but letting him go is more difficult....so, a couple of months ago, I let him walk to school with his friend and his mother and its gone on from there. He's had playdates, one even all day, at others homes, etc. I had let my guard down. So, when the overnight was mentioned - I was wishy-washy. I didn't stick to the planned answer of "Not until he's 25..." So, now I'm caught having to say something official to my friend, risking offending her - "Its not you, its me...." Haven't we all heard that somewhere before? But, I really mean it in this situation. I really think he would be fine, etc....I'm just not ready for that step in his life - and if I'm 100% not ready, his father is 150% not ready!

So, I was up until 3am this morning stressing about what to say, how to say it. I know I'm overreacting. I keep imagining if the shoe were on the other foot, I wouldn't be offended, I would understand....she is a wonderful, caring woman that I really like and I just don't want her to ever feel like it has anything to do with them...So, I am asking for advise. Anyone have any????

One More Step Towards Reality!

We had our first event at Mosaic yesterday. We are not officially open, but we need to practice our barista skills so we have a few events in the next couple of weeks to allow us to do that. So, yesterday we hosted some local Nazarene pastors for a luncheon. Bree and I we behind the counter, making mostly mochas....it was fun and frustrating all at the same time. There is a lot to think about and when you add in the pressure of someone waiting for their drink, it can be scary. But, we made it! We served everyone and managed to not look too much like some sort of comedy routine!

We spent most of our day yesterday at Mosaic. Its fun to hang out there imagining all of the people who will come and be served. The family room is pretty much all set up, we are going to paint a tree and maybe some flowers on the wall but other than that, its got the padded floor in, the kitchen, slide, books, etc...its really cute! Will and Lora played there most of the evening...I love how much they love it there! Just one more step towards reality!

A First Taste

The espresso machines were delivered and installed yesterday in Mosaic...so exciting. Mark brought me a latte yesterday afternoon and this morning, Bree delivered me an extra hot, vanilla latte TO MY DOOR! I could get used to having a coffeehouse literally 50 yards from my front door! It was wonderful - I'm going to head down there this afternoon to practice my barista skills...it is really happening.

I'm supposed to be writing an article for the Mosaic newsletter, which is to go out on Monday. My topic is "What are my hopes and dreams for Mosaic?" I don't really consider myself a writer. In fact, this blog is really my first attempt since college at any type of writing...and I don't really think of this as "real" writing - even compared to other blogs. For me, it is more a way to vent, get my thoughts out and keep my friends and family informed on my life. So, I haven't written a word for my article. The blank page intimidates me. I instantly feel insecure, like I have noting relevant to say.

I have many hopes and dreams for Mosaic...In fact, I can't really think about it without tearing up. I flash back to Mark, Heidi and I sitting around our kitchen table around three years ago - we were just talking, sharing our hearts about how we wanted church to be different....how we were tired of the status quo, same-old same-old way of "doing" church....we wanted something radical that got back to the essence of what Christ talked about in the gospels. So someone, not sure which one of us (I'm sure Mark will take the credit), came up with the idea of a coffeehouse. It morphed from a dream to a vision to now, a reality. I envision a place where people, all different kinds of people - young, old, rich, poor, singles, families, kids, grandparents, Christians, non-Christians (whatever that means) could all be together in community. I want a place where people who might never come to a church service would feel comfortable, maybe not even realizing that they are in a church, being loved by Christ. Not in a fake, Amway salesman kind of way - but sincerely, with no expectation of them ever stepping foot in our sanctuary on a Sunday morning. If someone wanted to come on a Sunday, great - but no expectations.

Through some situations out of our control, the coffeehouse will be run on a donation, pay what you can, basis. We are working on the wording of how to convey this idea. A couple of things that people have come up with are "What is it worth to you?" and the word "Priceless" - meaning, we think you are priceless and our products are priceless. I love both of these ideas because I have to constantly evaluate, what is it worth to me? What is this relationship with Christ worth to me? What is living in community worth to me? What are these people that I call my friends and family worth to me? And out of that - How do I show them that they are worth everything to me? How do I treat people to convey that they are priceless? Do I do that at all?

I'm hoping and praying that through this endeavor, we will have an opportunity to express to our friends and neighbors that they are priceless to God and to us...that they are worth being in community with - not for any other reason than that they are human beings, loved by God, created to live in fellowship with Him and others. That and a really good latte...those are just a few of my hopes and dreams for Mosaic.

Trying Something New...

So I know, its cruel to post about his sister for days and then put up a picture like this...but I thought it was too great. Another picture to save for the wedding slide show....

Lora Glaphre Woodward

She was born at 8:40pm....after only 6 hours of induced labor, with an epidural for at least 3 of those hours...her father was the first human to touch her. The midwife looked at him and said "Do you want to catch her?" So he did. He wasn't into the whole "cord cutting" thing, but catch her he did. They put her on my stomach, she cried a little, of course she was beautiful. Dark black hair, perfect features, little eyes, tightly shut....She weighed a perfect 7 lbs 7 oz...not too big, not too small. She was perfect.

And she still is, in my estimation. She is funny, smart, beautiful, loving. This morning, I told her "Happy Birthday!" to which she replied, "Happy Birthday to me? To me? Lora Glaphre Woodward?" I said, "Yes, Happy Birthday to you!" and she said "Oh thank you mommy...thank you for saying Happy Birthday!"

So, again, I say....Happy Birthday Lora Glaphre Woodward!

She's Growing Up

I realize that I've written a lot of posts about my daughter recently, but she's kind of at a pivotal point in her life. I know, she's just turning three, but three can be pivotal. Tomorrow is her last day at school....she has had the same teacher since she was 6 months old and tomorrow is her last day with Mary Ellen. Which is sad in itself, but another subject for another day.

Lora turns 3 on Thursday! I can't believe it! We just walked Will to school and stopped at Starbucks on our way home and she sat with me at a table, drinking her hot cocoa and eating her cookie chatting with me and dancing to the music in the background. I cannot explain to you what a delight she is in my life...both of my children are, but this week is about Lora - Thankfully Will can't read yet! Anyway, I remember holding her at 3AM the night that we got her diagnosis, crying...praying....wondering what life was going to look like...I kept getting this picture of this sad little girl sitting in a corner, quiet, bored....Very quickly, from God, I believe, this sense of peace washed over me and I felt God saying to me, "At three months old, if she is not happy or is hungry or even happy, she lets you know....why would it be any different at three..." But I still wasn't sure what life would look like. But, as I sat with her today at Starbucks talking about the green straws in our drinks and the yummy cookie she was eating and what color cupcakes she wants for her birthday party (pink by the way)...I felt God say to me..."See what I mean?"

Happy birthday Lora....you are a blessing beyond anything I could have ever imagined...

Too Smart for Her Own Good....

Sorry, I haven't posted for awhile...don't know what my problem has been. I've been really busy sort of, actually just lazy I think. We heard from the Seattle School District today that Lora does not qualify for Developmental Preschool. This is both a blessing and a curse. I'm very excited that she is not delayed in any areas despite her vision impairment...She will always qualify for vision services and that will begin after her birthday...but, this also knocks her out of qualifying for the Experimental Education Unit at the UofW and that was where we really wanted her to go in the fall....So, I had a mini-breakdown on the phone today with the person at the school district. We have been looking forward to Lora getting into this program and I just sort of had it set in my mind that she would be there next year. So, we start over. We're in that weird place that a lot of middle classers are in...we make too much to qualify for very much help, but not quite enough to pay the incredible preschool prices in our city.

I'm actually considering trying to get her into Co-op for next year. You all know how much I love co-op. But I love Will's teacher and she would be Lora's next year. I talked with her today and she felt like Lora would do great at the co-op next year. This was a switch, because previously when I talked with her, she was not excited about Lora coming there. That was before she had spent any time with Lora, now she seems fine with it. The nice thing is that we know we can afford it. It means committment from me again, but I think I can handle it. Now we just have to get from the waiting list to the class. If this doesn't work out, I have no idea what we will do....she's just too smart for her own good!

On the diet front, I've now lost 21 pounds and 16.5 inches! So that is exciting. I made it through my 37th birthday without doing too much damage. So, onward and downward...

Going Home...

I think there's a saying somewhere, "You can't go home again..." or something to that effect. Well, I went "home" this weekend...at least to a place that I called home for 20 years. My dad was a pastor my whole life and he pastored the same church for 19 years, which is pretty unusual. This church is very near where Mark and I pastor now, but I rarely make it up there. They've struggled some for a couple of years and honestly, I haven't wanted to go back because it made me sad and no longer felt like "home". But, this weekend, they installed a new pastor and this new pastor asked my parents to come back and pray a prayer of blessing over them as they embark on this new journey. I thought that was a very nice request and so did my parents and they flew up for the weekend. We, of course, had church at SFC on Sunday morning, but we got finished a little early so Mark, the kids and I headed up the freeway a few exits and snuck in the back...after depositing the kids in the nursery, of course. I was immediately greeted by the Brumptons...wonderful people, Jean made baby blankets for both of my kids when they were born. As I sat down and looked around the congregation, I saw some new faces...I didn't know the man sitting next to me or the people directly in front of us...but, then I spotted Cheryl who was my best friend from fourth grade...through most of my school years, she was a bridesmaid in our wedding - I haven't talked to her in at least two years, she lives in Lynnwood. (I'm a horrible friend). Then across the sanctuary, I saw Cinda...my singing buddy. She started coming to our church after I returned from college - that girl can sing and I loved singing with her! Her kids have grown by leaps and bounds - I haven't seen her for a few years either. I saw former Sunday School teachers, Caravan leaders, Youth sponsors and prayer partners.

I saw a few people that I could have done without seeing...when you're father is a pastor - there are some hurts that happen - its funny how time and distance heals some of those things, but not all of them. Also, isn't funny how the people you would rather not talk to want to talk you're ear off while you're trying to get to the friends you really want to see??? There were so many friends to catch up with and not enough time for all of the greetings. We greeted the new pastor, told him we're just down the freeway a few exits...then we had to leave. It was kind of sad because there were so many that I didn't get a chance to catch up with. We got in the car and Mark said, "You are their princess..." He was, of course, joking...but, no matter where I go and no matter how much I love our church now and the people who are now a part of my church community....that place will always be "home" in some sense. Those are the people who loved me through the difficult years, and some of them were pretty difficult...and they did love me through them. I am so blessed, as a pastor's daughter, to have come through the whole experience unscathed...A lot of which I attribute to my parents, but those people get a lot of the credit too. I still love the church, I love being a pastor's wife (most of the time) and they were all a part of my experience. So, I guess what I am saying is that you CAN go home again!

PS - on the diet front...still going strong. Four weeks without cheating. I actually didn't lose anymore pounds this week, down 13 total, BUT I'm down 12.5 inches total! And, I'm expecting my "Aunt Flo" this week, if you know what i mean...

Tired...

I'm tired today. This week has been long. Actually, the last two weeks have been long. We've had some weird things happen, some hurtful things happen...but, God is also at work in our lives and on our corner in Seattle. Mosaic, a community coffeehouse, is being built - the skeleton of the coffee counter, ramp and stage are up and it is exciting! I can't wait for the opening.

Will was diagnosed with Pneumonia on friday. He's already doing a lot better, but we've kept him in all weekend so I've stayed with him. He's ready to go out and I'm pretty sure he'll go to school tomorrow - or we may all go crazy!

On the diet front, I'm still going strong. I haven't cheated in three weeks! I'm really excited about that. I've had a tiny plateau this week but have lost a total of 12.1 lbs in three weeks and 7 inches total which is exciting too!

Sorry for the boring post....I think I'm just tired.....

The Joys of a Good Apple Cake

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm on a diet. That is nothing new for me. What is new for me is that I have been on said diet for almost 2 weeks without cheating! That is new for me. I don't want to go into which diet I am doing because, like Star Jones, I feel it is irresponsible for someone of my fame to push any one diet. At least without compensation - I don't want any of my readers suing me! lol

Anyway, on this diet you are given certain pre-packaged foods and you add your own fresh fruits, veggies and dairy items. It is sort of a lower carb thing and one of the things I haven't had is very much "real" sugar or desserts. Now, I have one of the program's pre-packaged desserts each day and that does help with the cravings. But, if you know me, I like my sweets.

I've taken to enjoying my dessert in the afternoon. I make my non-fat, sugarfree Latte and get out my cookie or biscotti or whatever has been provided for me and have been perfectly happy. Well today, I hit the motherlode of diet desserts. I've had this Apple Cake mix in my cupboard, which is also part of my diet and I've been avoiding it because I had a Chocolate one earlier that wasn't terrific and, my new diet Bulliten Board friends have not been too keen on the Apple Cake either. Today, however, it sounded good. So, I chopped up some fresh apples, put the mix in a bowl along with a teaspoon of Splenda Brown Sugar, some Cinnamon and the water needed for the mix....I poured the batter into my little ramekin and nuked it for 1 1/2 minutes. I took it out, plopped it out on a plate and, while still warm, topped it with some Fat free Cool Whip, sat down with my latte and took a bite and oh my goodness it was heaven! I know, silly but for someone who hasn't had that kind of experience for a couple of weeks and normally really enjoys a good dessert....this was nirvana! It just lifted my mood and made me happy.

The beautiful thing is that I have one more apple cake mix in my cupboard (and I can order more). I think though, I am going to make my other one for my husband tonight. He is on this diet too and I think he would enjoy the treat...that's just the kind of wife I am! Ha, Ha. Plus, he sent me flowers today for no reason......my life is pretty darn good!

Yippee for me!

In direct contrast to my last post, I'm in a pretty good mood today. Sorry folks, that's how it is when you're dealing with a woman during that time of the month...Now I have to apologize to the women's movement that I just help set back by a year or so...but, its the truth.

I actually really enjoyed this morning's worship service. Which is funny because we had about 20 people with the combo of the weather and the Seahawks playing, but numbers have very little to do with worship. I felt good this morning, I enjoyed the songs that we sang - I especially enjoyed singing with my friends Kathryn and David - you guys are fun and we had some great moments this morning! I know that worship isn't about how good the singing is, but as a singer, when its good, it does help! Anyway, Mark preached well, there were no bloody fights in the foyer afterwords - not that there ever are. Progress on Mosaic, A Community Coffeehouse, is progressing in the basement - we even have the skeleton of a coffee bar built. I'm really excited about what is happening on our corner and I'm sad that I let myself get caught up in some trivial feelings that derailed me from seeing the big picture. Its the whole "forest for the trees things". Thank you to my friends who helped me get out of my blogging funk with their kind words....

Also, I wasn't going to say anything about this because I feel like I'm all talk and no action, but I've actually been on a diet consistently for one week...7 whole days. And, at last weigh in on Friday, I was down 6 pounds! I'm really excited and I don't feel like quitting, which is something. I feel really good, have detoxed from some "bad" things and am on my way down. Maybe I'll try to post each Sunday afternoon on my progress. Like I said, I don't want to be someone who's all talk, but maybe this will be some accountability....so, yippee for me!!

Those Moments

I haven't blogged in awhile. To be acurate, I've started two other posts and not finished them. I just haven't felt inspired....

I'm having one of my "I'm frustrated with community" weeks. I have these times when I think it would be really fun if Mark had a "normal" job. When we got married, he had a really fun job. He worked events for a company that did a lot for Microsoft. There were a lot of fun perks with his job...we got SWAG from events, got to go to fun dinners and I even got to stay with him for a week at the Sheraton in downtown Seattle. I love staying in hotels...its something about someone else making my bed.

Our first year of marriage, we popped in and out of church. My parents had just moved, so my dad was no longer my pastor, and we took a few weekends away and went to his parents or B&B's. That was fun. (Of course, I was working too, so we had a lot more money for weekend trips)

If someone at his old work didn't like him, it didn't really affect me. I didn't have to interact with them at all really. I could listen to his stories about conflict, but I didn't have to sit in a pew with them on Sunday while he preaches to them...

Sometimes those feel like the "good 'ol days". I'm tired of community today...I'm tired of feeling judgement from friends, whether real or just percieved judgement, about how I'm raising my kids...I'm tired of silly e-mails that my husband has to "kindly" respond to from well-meaning people, that I take personally but he can let go of so easily...I'm tired of the fact that its Saturday morning and my husband is over at the church undecorating from Christmas, when he should be hanging out with us....I'm kind of in a funk and hope that those who read this will not judge me further for feeling this way.

For the most part, I love what Mark does, the people that we are in community with, the life that we have here on our little corner in Seattle...then there are those moments....hopefully there is grace in those moments...that is what community is about, right?

Mark's in San Diego, Darn him

Mark is out of town...I don't like it when Mark is out of town. I don't do well by myself. Of course, I'm not by myself. Currently, Lora is climbing all over me singing. By now, on a normal day, Mark would be coming home to pick up the slack for me. He entertains the kids while I make dinner, or order pizza. But, today, he's at a conference in sunny San Diego. I'm trying to be happy for him...he called to tell me how beautiful is hotel room is, he talked about the view, the jetted bathtub, the warm weather. Of course, he said "Wish you were here". Again I'm trying to be happy for him. He doesn't get many opportunities like this.

The worst thing is that I don't do well staying by myself. I get scared at night. Its silly, I know. I'm almost 37 and I've never lived alone. I hear noises at night, sure someone is breaking in. Its good for me to have to be alone with the kids and get used to it. I hope and pray that I can sleep tonight...

I took Lora to school this morning and Will went with me, since Mark's gone. We dropped her off and went to the grocery store, we got back with about 30 minutes left in class. I was so proud of Will, he was so great with the little kids. Most of the kids in Lora's class have some sort of "issue" and he is great with them. He brought a toy over to one other boy and set it down in front of him and said, "See, this is how it works" and proceeded to show him what to do. He is growing up to be such a great kid. He's fun, funny and even kind when he wants to be.

One funny story, he's really into playing guessing games. He loves to make me guess what he wants for a snack or what he wants to play with. So, while my parents were here, we were playing cards and he came up to the table and said, "I have a game. Guess what's in my underwear....It has a hole, pee-pee comes out of it and its short." We died laughing, guessed the obvious answer and he went onto the next thing, "Guess what's in my sleeve...." Kids crack me up.