Tonight, Mark and I attended a lecture at Mosaic that was put together by a friend from our preschool. It was by a woman named Amy Lang who has an organization called "Birds + Bees + Kids". First, let me say, I would highly recommend this lecture and speaker to anyone with children, especially kids under 5. Amy is a fun, hip speaker who talks in plain language about kids and how we begin to talk with them about sex.
The first thing that kind of "got" me was when she said that our kids should know the basics of how babies are made by age 5...that stunned me until she reminded us that by that age, they are entering school with older kids who are going to tell them all sorts of things about sex, right and wrong and she reminded us that at that age, its all about the science there is no emotion behind it for them yet...I was quickly reminded of the 7 or 8 year old boy from church that told me how babies were made when I was about 6, and boy was he wrong. I really want my kids to know the "real" scoop, from Mark and I, not some kid on the playground.
She also talked a lot about what is appropriate developmentally for kids to know/play at different ages. This helps to spot signs of sexual abuse that could be happening. I so appreciated this information.
I really loved her style and how she talked bluntly about the "mechanics" but also about values and seemed to respect all different values. Its staggering the statistics of teenage sex, and that scares me to death as my son enters the school system. I really want my kids to feel like they can talk to me about anything, that no subject is off limits, this is how I feel like I was raised - and I want to pass that on.
One of the quotes that stuck with me was that kids really need "200 one minute conversations about sex instead of one 200 minute conversation"...how at this age, they will actually listen to me, where they may not when they are 12 or 13. I so want to instill in my kids to respect themselves and other people so much and that the choices they make when they are young can impact their lives forever - its not just about waiting until marriage because that's what we want them to do, or that's what God would want them to do - but I want everything for them, love, trust, healthy relationships, great educations, wonderful careers, etc and getting someone pregnant, getting pregnant or dying from a disease could seriously affect that. I feel so proud to tell them that their dad is the only man I've ever had sex with, but I also want them to know that I love them no matter what mistakes they might make in their lives. And, that they are worth it, they are worth waiting for that person they will spend their life with, they are worth having healthy relationships, they are worth living a long, healthy life.
Anyway, I really appreciated the evening and again I would recommend this speaker to other parents. It is blunt, but we have to be honest with our kids...they are worth it.
2 comments:
Interesting. I had never thought I would need to prepare myself so early, but the point about exposure to other kids' input is a valid one.
Just a couple weeks ago Ruthie asked me about how she 'got borned' and I told her that God made her and put her in my belly. We were in the car driving through a beautiful valley outside of Issaquah, and it sparked a lovely inquiry into everything she saw. "Did God make that tree?" "Did God make that cow?" and on an on.
It was very sweet, and all I was prepared to discuss at the time. But now I see I should practice up on some more technical answers!
I wanted to add too that I appreciated the way she expressed that you explain to kids that sex is something adults do, that kids bodies are not ready to have sex. Even jokingly saying, "So when you're 35, you'll be ready"...Even with her statistics about the average kid having sex at 16, I didn't feel like she was saying, they are going to do it anyway so you'd better tell them about it - it was more like this is the statistic and the average age is the same for kids who are "christian" and those who aren't, by the way. I felt like she was saying knowledge is power, not permission...
And Jen, we have had tons of discussions recently about the kids "growing in my tummy"...I'm not sure how we got started on the subject, but I guess we'll just start adding the other info. Kinda scary!
Post a Comment