Tired...

I'm tired today. This week has been long. Actually, the last two weeks have been long. We've had some weird things happen, some hurtful things happen...but, God is also at work in our lives and on our corner in Seattle. Mosaic, a community coffeehouse, is being built - the skeleton of the coffee counter, ramp and stage are up and it is exciting! I can't wait for the opening.

Will was diagnosed with Pneumonia on friday. He's already doing a lot better, but we've kept him in all weekend so I've stayed with him. He's ready to go out and I'm pretty sure he'll go to school tomorrow - or we may all go crazy!

On the diet front, I'm still going strong. I haven't cheated in three weeks! I'm really excited about that. I've had a tiny plateau this week but have lost a total of 12.1 lbs in three weeks and 7 inches total which is exciting too!

Sorry for the boring post....I think I'm just tired.....

The Joys of a Good Apple Cake

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm on a diet. That is nothing new for me. What is new for me is that I have been on said diet for almost 2 weeks without cheating! That is new for me. I don't want to go into which diet I am doing because, like Star Jones, I feel it is irresponsible for someone of my fame to push any one diet. At least without compensation - I don't want any of my readers suing me! lol

Anyway, on this diet you are given certain pre-packaged foods and you add your own fresh fruits, veggies and dairy items. It is sort of a lower carb thing and one of the things I haven't had is very much "real" sugar or desserts. Now, I have one of the program's pre-packaged desserts each day and that does help with the cravings. But, if you know me, I like my sweets.

I've taken to enjoying my dessert in the afternoon. I make my non-fat, sugarfree Latte and get out my cookie or biscotti or whatever has been provided for me and have been perfectly happy. Well today, I hit the motherlode of diet desserts. I've had this Apple Cake mix in my cupboard, which is also part of my diet and I've been avoiding it because I had a Chocolate one earlier that wasn't terrific and, my new diet Bulliten Board friends have not been too keen on the Apple Cake either. Today, however, it sounded good. So, I chopped up some fresh apples, put the mix in a bowl along with a teaspoon of Splenda Brown Sugar, some Cinnamon and the water needed for the mix....I poured the batter into my little ramekin and nuked it for 1 1/2 minutes. I took it out, plopped it out on a plate and, while still warm, topped it with some Fat free Cool Whip, sat down with my latte and took a bite and oh my goodness it was heaven! I know, silly but for someone who hasn't had that kind of experience for a couple of weeks and normally really enjoys a good dessert....this was nirvana! It just lifted my mood and made me happy.

The beautiful thing is that I have one more apple cake mix in my cupboard (and I can order more). I think though, I am going to make my other one for my husband tonight. He is on this diet too and I think he would enjoy the treat...that's just the kind of wife I am! Ha, Ha. Plus, he sent me flowers today for no reason......my life is pretty darn good!

Yippee for me!

In direct contrast to my last post, I'm in a pretty good mood today. Sorry folks, that's how it is when you're dealing with a woman during that time of the month...Now I have to apologize to the women's movement that I just help set back by a year or so...but, its the truth.

I actually really enjoyed this morning's worship service. Which is funny because we had about 20 people with the combo of the weather and the Seahawks playing, but numbers have very little to do with worship. I felt good this morning, I enjoyed the songs that we sang - I especially enjoyed singing with my friends Kathryn and David - you guys are fun and we had some great moments this morning! I know that worship isn't about how good the singing is, but as a singer, when its good, it does help! Anyway, Mark preached well, there were no bloody fights in the foyer afterwords - not that there ever are. Progress on Mosaic, A Community Coffeehouse, is progressing in the basement - we even have the skeleton of a coffee bar built. I'm really excited about what is happening on our corner and I'm sad that I let myself get caught up in some trivial feelings that derailed me from seeing the big picture. Its the whole "forest for the trees things". Thank you to my friends who helped me get out of my blogging funk with their kind words....

Also, I wasn't going to say anything about this because I feel like I'm all talk and no action, but I've actually been on a diet consistently for one week...7 whole days. And, at last weigh in on Friday, I was down 6 pounds! I'm really excited and I don't feel like quitting, which is something. I feel really good, have detoxed from some "bad" things and am on my way down. Maybe I'll try to post each Sunday afternoon on my progress. Like I said, I don't want to be someone who's all talk, but maybe this will be some accountability....so, yippee for me!!

Those Moments

I haven't blogged in awhile. To be acurate, I've started two other posts and not finished them. I just haven't felt inspired....

I'm having one of my "I'm frustrated with community" weeks. I have these times when I think it would be really fun if Mark had a "normal" job. When we got married, he had a really fun job. He worked events for a company that did a lot for Microsoft. There were a lot of fun perks with his job...we got SWAG from events, got to go to fun dinners and I even got to stay with him for a week at the Sheraton in downtown Seattle. I love staying in hotels...its something about someone else making my bed.

Our first year of marriage, we popped in and out of church. My parents had just moved, so my dad was no longer my pastor, and we took a few weekends away and went to his parents or B&B's. That was fun. (Of course, I was working too, so we had a lot more money for weekend trips)

If someone at his old work didn't like him, it didn't really affect me. I didn't have to interact with them at all really. I could listen to his stories about conflict, but I didn't have to sit in a pew with them on Sunday while he preaches to them...

Sometimes those feel like the "good 'ol days". I'm tired of community today...I'm tired of feeling judgement from friends, whether real or just percieved judgement, about how I'm raising my kids...I'm tired of silly e-mails that my husband has to "kindly" respond to from well-meaning people, that I take personally but he can let go of so easily...I'm tired of the fact that its Saturday morning and my husband is over at the church undecorating from Christmas, when he should be hanging out with us....I'm kind of in a funk and hope that those who read this will not judge me further for feeling this way.

For the most part, I love what Mark does, the people that we are in community with, the life that we have here on our little corner in Seattle...then there are those moments....hopefully there is grace in those moments...that is what community is about, right?

Mark's in San Diego, Darn him

Mark is out of town...I don't like it when Mark is out of town. I don't do well by myself. Of course, I'm not by myself. Currently, Lora is climbing all over me singing. By now, on a normal day, Mark would be coming home to pick up the slack for me. He entertains the kids while I make dinner, or order pizza. But, today, he's at a conference in sunny San Diego. I'm trying to be happy for him...he called to tell me how beautiful is hotel room is, he talked about the view, the jetted bathtub, the warm weather. Of course, he said "Wish you were here". Again I'm trying to be happy for him. He doesn't get many opportunities like this.

The worst thing is that I don't do well staying by myself. I get scared at night. Its silly, I know. I'm almost 37 and I've never lived alone. I hear noises at night, sure someone is breaking in. Its good for me to have to be alone with the kids and get used to it. I hope and pray that I can sleep tonight...

I took Lora to school this morning and Will went with me, since Mark's gone. We dropped her off and went to the grocery store, we got back with about 30 minutes left in class. I was so proud of Will, he was so great with the little kids. Most of the kids in Lora's class have some sort of "issue" and he is great with them. He brought a toy over to one other boy and set it down in front of him and said, "See, this is how it works" and proceeded to show him what to do. He is growing up to be such a great kid. He's fun, funny and even kind when he wants to be.

One funny story, he's really into playing guessing games. He loves to make me guess what he wants for a snack or what he wants to play with. So, while my parents were here, we were playing cards and he came up to the table and said, "I have a game. Guess what's in my underwear....It has a hole, pee-pee comes out of it and its short." We died laughing, guessed the obvious answer and he went onto the next thing, "Guess what's in my sleeve...." Kids crack me up.