Co-op Revisited

So, I had a "situation" in co-op preschool yesterday. Will threw a fit. We were getting ready for snack and from the sink, washing their hands, all the kids in my small group started yelling, "I want to pass out the cups! I want to pass out the napkins!" etc. Aparently, Will was one of the ones who had requested passing out the cups. But, BB got to the table first, I wasn't thinking, and stupidly let her pass out the cups. So, when Will returned to the table, he freaked out about said cups already being passed out, threw himself on the floor and proceeded to scream, "I said I wanted to pass out the cups!!!" Because I could think of nothing creative to do or say, I stupidly said, "I'm sorry Will, BB got here first and I let her pass out the cups. You can pass them out next time." To which he screamed again and cried. At this point, the teacher interviened, giving him two choices. To either join his group for snack or sit on the couch in the libarary. My strong-willed son stubbornly sat for the whole snack on the couch, never even turning to look at me. Every once in a while, Teacher Kris would warn him that snack would be over soon and that once we went downstairs to play, he would be out of luck. He still sat.

UNTIL snack was over and we were cleaning up. Suddenly, he decides he wants a snack, of course. So, I sit with him on the couch explaining that snack is now over, he missed his opportunity and needed to just join his friends downstairs. To which he wailed, crying "I just want my snack!!!" I was at a loss, anytime I mentioned the words snack or downstairs, he would wail louder. So, I stubbornly decide that he just needs to go downstairs, that seeing his friends playing would wake him up to the fact that he was being silly. So I pick up his suddenly rigid body as he screams louder and I am saying, "This is enough. It is time to play." I get him to the top of the stairs and can no longer hold him, since he has gone limp and seemingly weighs about 200 pounds, so when I drop him, he takes off running back to his couch. I am exhausted, go downstairs to Teacher Kris, feeling like a failure and tell her, "I give up!"

So, she goes upstairs, plays good cop, and gives him a snack. While she is gone, a few other weird things happen with the kids downstairs..we end up back upstairs and my son looks at me, happy as a clam, and says, "Teacher Kris got me some snack!" I feel like a failure and she looks like a hero.

Its the weirdest thing every time Monday comes around...I dread going to this classroom. Its like every insecurity I have ever had from Jr High to my life now, as a parent, comes to the surface and I am beaten by a room full of 4 year olds. First of all, it is a well known fact that your child behaves worse in these situations when you are present. Aparently, the days that I am not there, Will is the picture of good behavior, charming the pants off of everyone. I arrive and he turns into Damian, complete with 666 on his forehead. The other problem is that I realize, I love my children, but other people's children, not so much. I know, it makes me a horrible person, but I think, ever since I've had my own children, I just don't have the time or energy for anyone else's children. I'm kind and can appreciate their cuteness, etc but it just doesn't feel the same as it did before Will and Lora came onto the scene. I just don't think I'm the "Co-op Type". My kids eat sugar, we don't but only organic, we watch cartoons, yes even "Tom and Jerry", I spank my kids sometimes. I feel like a failure when I leave this place. But, my problem is, Will loves it. He loves the class, he loves the teacher, he loves the other kids and parents. He left at 12:45 today with his new friend Paya and Paya's mom to walk to school together and she will bring him home at 4:00. He loves walking to school with Paya and his mom. I could never take that away from him.

So, what do I do with my insecurity?? Just buck up and suffer through Mondays? Convince Mark to get a TB test done so he can at least alternate Mondays with me? Decide already at this age, to homeschool Will just so I can avoid teachers and other parents that make me feel like a failure? I don't know what to do....Any ideas?

On a totally unrelated note.....Lora and I are watching Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and she said to me, "Mommy, let's watch Charlie Brown Pirates"...umm, do you mean Pilgrims? Maybe she's not too far off!