I know, everyone's talking about it...Ted Haggard. The fallen leader of the evangelical church. I don't want to just be another one out there talking about him...but it makes me sad. It makes me sad when anyone is unfaithful to the covenant they made. It makes me sad to see a family damaged by deceit. As a fellow evangelical, it makes me sad for the jokes and jabs that inevitably follow. And I get it. I make jokes too. Have you ever noticed though, its like with your family. You can say anything about your own family, but when someone who is not a part of your family, even an in-law says something about your family...those are fightin' words. My son's teacher made a joke today about the Ted Haggard situation. And it stung. The funny thing is, before this, I wouldn't really have identified myself with him. I think of myself as more "progressive" than him. Maybe not so black and white. But when someone outside my circle of evangelicals, an atheist, nontheless made a crack at him, I felt it in my heart. In fact, it made me a little mad.
Isn't that weird? I don't know this man and frankly, when I saw him on 60 Minutes not long ago, there was much that I didn't agree with him about and I found him a little scary. A little too "right-wing" gays are evil for me. But, when someone that I see as even more of an outsider cuts him down, I feel this instant kinship with him. Maybe its the Jesus in both of us. Because even though he's fallen and made these huge mistakes, I think he loves Jesus. He got off track somewhere along the line. Maybe it was something he struggled with his whole life and just couldn't resist any longer. Kind of how I feel every time I eat another piece of candy corn.
Not that I'm equating my eating habits to trysts with male prostitutes...but don't we all have things that we struggle with? Maybe my sins aren't so public or don't have the ramifications that his have, especially to his family. But, who am I to cast stones in his direction? He receives the same grace that I receive and neither of us deserves it.
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One thing that I've failed to understand in my journey with Christ is why is it that we as Christians don't give grace to each other in situations like this. (I'm using "we" in a very broad context)
It further reminds me that we are first and foremost broken sinners in need of a Savior. We are no better than anyone else as we continue to struggle in brokenness - it doesn't simply "go away" when we come to Christ-particularly desires that are sexual in nature. Our desire to be Christ-like does and should take precedence, but it doesn't always happen in neat, clean and Christ- like ways.
Tharon once said that this walk with Christ on earth is a journey, not a destination. I will always remember this and strive to give grace to those in the "family" as well to those outside.
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